It is not easy figuring out how to deal with an ex-boyfriend. You may hate him or feel indifferent. You may even still have very strong positive feelings for him. Ignoring him can be a viable option in any of these cases, but depending on what you hope to achieve, may not be what you want to do. There are a number of things you should consider before you employ the silent treatment.
How do you feel towards him? On the vast spectrum between love and hate, where do you land? If you left the relationship because he was insufferable or a downright despicable human being, then you have every right to ignore him. In that case, it may be the best possible means of dealing with your ex; you may want to rip him a new hole, but complete indifference may hurt him more. On the other hand, if you think you may still be in love with him, ignoring him is useful if carefully employed. You may wish to act unavailable to him, in order to heighten his desire for you. As long as you don’t overdo it, that should be fine. Finally, if you are fairly neutral about him, then ignoring him is the easiest option for you else check out Westword which can be another great option through which you can explore all the possible ways to cope up after your breakup.
On the vast spectrum between love and hate, where do you land? If you left the relationship because he was insufferable or a downright despicable human being, then you have every right to ignore him. In that case, it may be the best possible means of dealing with your ex; you may want to rip him a new hole, but complete indifference may hurt him more. On the other hand, if you think you may still be in love with him, ignoring him is useful if carefully employed. You may wish to act unavailable to him, in order to heighten his desire for you. As long as you don’t overdo it, that should be fine. Finally, if you are fairly neutral about him, then ignoring him is the easiest option for you. How does he feel about you? Likewise, your ex-boyfriend’s feelings towards you will have a huge impact on how effective your silent treatment is. The more in love with you he is, the more impactful ignoring him will be. After all, if he is paying no attention to you, then he won’t notice if you are ignoring him or not. It may be difficult to gauge how much he cares about you, but the best barometer is how often he calls or emails.
Likewise, your ex-boyfriend’s feelings towards you will have a huge impact on how effective your silent treatment is. The more in love with you he is, the more impactful ignoring him will be. After all, if he is paying no attention to you, then he won’t notice if you are ignoring him or not. It may be difficult to gauge how much he cares about you, but the best barometer is how often he calls or emails. What are you hoping to achieve? If you want your ex-boyfriend to leave you alone, ignoring him is a good first step. It may not be enough to deter him from bothering you, but it should help set the tone for future interactions with him. On the other hand, if you want to eventually be reconciled with your ex, then being unresponsive should be utilized with caution. Ignore only the first couple of phone calls or emails. Wait a week or two at the most before you respond. You don’t want him to lose interest in you or give up. However, playing a little hard to get is a tried true technique to increase desire.
If you want your ex-boyfriend to leave you alone, ignoring him is a good first step. It may not be enough to deter him from bothering you, but it should help set the tone for future interactions with him. On the other hand, if you want to eventually be reconciled with your ex, then being unresponsive should be utilized with caution. Ignore only the first couple of phone calls or emails. Wait a week or two at the most before you respond. You don’t want him to lose interest in you or give up. However, playing a little hard to get is a tried true technique to increase desire. When you do stop ignoring him, how will you respond? If your ex’s attentions are unwanted, once they reach the point where they can no longer be tolerated, you need to formulate an appropriate response. There are a whole host of possible actions, from an obscenity-laced phone call that warns him to stay away to a letter from an attorney describing possible legal actions should he continue. In most cases, you should begin with an email stating in uncertain terms that his actions are harassing, and should they continue you will take more direct action, including involving law enforcement. However, if you want him to become a bigger part of your life, you want to lure him in. In these cases, you want to respond with a short email or phone call that is casual in nature. Don’t hint at your desire to resume the relationship; let him make all the big moves. When he does declare his love for you, you should continue to play hard to get. Not only will it give you more power over the relationship, but in the end, your boyfriend will appreciate you more.
Interactions between people can be like trying to navigate a minefield. One wrong move and you can destroy someone’s life or damage your own. Caution is an absolute necessity when choosing how best to respond to others. And if you are trying to figure out how best to deal with an ex-boyfriend, you need to pay even more attention to your actions. You almost need to be telepathic to ensure that your moves are being interpreted correctly. So if you want to ignore your ex-boyfriend use extreme care that he will take it correctly and respond in a manner consistent with your intentions.
